Show reports 2022: from wild cheesecakes to lost husbands

Unfortunate arrivals

Perth Piano Sundays, Perth Concert Hall, Scotland
“A couple arrived halfway through the first half and had somehow managed to buy tickets from the wrong venue for today’s show. They had tickets for Perth Concert Hall in Australia. After discussion, they were allowed in to watch the second half as a goodwill gesture.”

The Tempest, Shakespeare’s Globe
“One patron managed to get all the way to Door 2 before being spotted with tickets to the ABBA Voyage live experience, not The Tempest. Fortunately, visitor and operations supervisor Fran was able to catch them and get the correct tickets up.”

Stranger Sings!, the Vaults, London
“A member of the public tried to get in without a ticket. After trying to steer them back in the right direction, which they were unresponsive to, I decided to pick them up and carry them back on to Launcelot Street. The member of public in question was a cat.”

Problematic props

The Scent of Roses, Royal Lyceum Theatre, Edinburgh
“The champagne proved difficult for Peter [Forbes] to open this evening, so he resorted to using his teeth. We feel this is a bit too risky a solution so will suggest grabbing the towel from the bathroom for extra grip if he needs it, rather than risking his teeth.”

Stranger Sings!, the Vaults
“The space hopper is severely deflated and no one can work out how to reinflate it.”

Life Is a Dream, Royal Lyceum Theatre, Edinburgh
“During the pre-show, Anna Russell-Martin accidentally threw a clementine too hard and it splattered on the floor in the audience. Dayna Cumming [assistant stage manager] went to retrieve it.”

Not F**kin’ Sorry, Soho Theatre, London
“We may need to ask usher on stage level to get the fake heart back from audience at end of show.”

Amusing actors

Rainer, Arcola Theatre, London
“A second bow was expected by the audience after Sorcha Kennedy left the stage and the house lights went up. Kennedy’s microphone was still live and she could audibly be heard saying: ‘No, no, no’, when she realised the audience were expecting her to return.”

Beauty and the Beast, Nottingham Playhouse
“One of the Giant Rabbits moonwalked off the front of the stage, landing on an audience member in row A. This was not part of the agreed choreography. We think they may have been showing off to their friend in the audience. Both audience member and rabbit were unhurt. Bunny has been told to refrain from improvising in the future.”

Witches of Oz, the Vaults
“Duty manager Nebiu gave a great performance as Mayor Donut Hole with minimal preparation. Quote from an audience member: ‘You were great, mate. Had me in stitches.’”

Outrageous issues

I, Joan, Shakespeare’s Globe
“One patron enquired about the height of the set. One steward did not know so asked duty manager Kay. Duty manager Kay did not know so asked stage manager Felix. Stage manager Felix did not know so asked stage manager Rachel. Stage manager Rachel did not know and so that ends that complicated saga. However, in a happy turn of events, the set designer was actually in tonight to watch the show, so the question was eventually answered, but by that point the patron had disappeared. Sad times.”

Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare’s Globe
“An ear plug fell from the middle gallery into the yard. In a wonderful piece of physical comedy, a steward hurried upstairs with the ear plug to find the patron while the patron simultaneously hurried downstairs to find their ear plug. Eventually they found each other.”

Henry V, Shakespeare’s Globe
“A patron said to Norwegian visitor and operations assistant Runa that he couldn’t resist buying a programme thanks to her Irish accent.”

Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare’s Globe
“A patron lost her husband. He had left to go to the loo but had not returned in good husbandly time. Duty manager Jack was embroiled in a man hunt, searching every toilet on site. Eventually we found the husband in the shop browsing the stationary. Her relief turned to frustration, which I judged fair.”

I, Joan, Shakespeare’s Globe
“You’ve never seen security move quicker than during the part of the show when the door handles are rattled. They had to be assured that it was part of the show and not some sort of supernatural force. There are no ghosts at the Globe!”

Henry VIII, Shakespeare’s Globe
“At around 21:45, the loudest horn from a boat any of us have ever heard was sounded. Literally made us all nearly jump out of our seats.”

The Tempest, Shakespeare’s Globe
“One pearl earring was found on the piazza. Said earring was collected by a customer during the interval, who once more became the Girl with a Pearl Earring.”